The Wabash Cannonball

Family vacations were always a special time in the Isbell family…well more like traumatic. Most of my memories of family vacations revolve around some traumatic event and what lead to it. But one of my favorites is the time we went to OpryLand.

I was just getting to the age where I could enjoy a theme park and ride the majority of the rides. So I was going around with my brother Chris and my Sister Shea to ride all the big kid rides. The funny thing is I don’t remember a single ride we rode. All I remember is the one I didn’t.

As we approached the Wabash Cannonball all I could see through the trees was a half pipe that looked like a plumbing drain from Mario Bros. Not so bad right…until I saw the car of the ride going through the half pipe. There was nothing holding it in. It came through the curve and rode high up the bank of the wall almost to the edge. I froze,  literally, I would not move another inch. I was convinced that when I rode this things that I was going to be in the one car that managed to find its way out of the pipe. I wasn’t going near this thing.

Now a lot of things can be said about my older siblings, but having mercy is not one of them. If you have ever seen the way the mean babysitters treat kids in the movies, that is about how this went down. Chris started with the, you will be ok and it will be fine approach. No Dice. Then he went for the shame approach and tried to shame me into getting on the ride. He underestimated my security with being a coward. I was totally fine with being the kid that never rode that ride because I am a pansy. No worries.

After several minutes of conversation, Chris resorted to force…he tried to drag me onto the ride. Ha, funny guy. I latched onto a trash can and held on for my life. It was like trying to drag a cat into the water and I was not ever going to let go. I was so sure that I was going to die on the ride I was going to take my chances getting beat by my older siblings.

Fortunately for me my parents happened upon us and I was saved. I am sure they were embarressed but all that matters is that I was safely not on the ride. My siblings went and rode it without dying and I to this day I have never tamed the Wabash Cannonball.