My First Fan

I have never been extremely popular but have always had some people to hang out with. But to be honest I was kind of a nerd. I was a studious kid and always did my homework and had a pretty good work ethic. So much so that I was willing to risk my life for a school project and brave the wilds of the upper kitchen cabinets to complete my assignment.

As a shortish middle schooler I loved school supplies. Anything that provided organization or gave a finished look to a report was on my list. One report in particular needed a little something extra. The casual staple in the top left corner was not going to do it for me. I needed a little pizazz to make my report stand out.

I remembered that my parents had some school supplies in the cabinet above the stove and there just might be a stylish green folder in their that would make my report complete. So like any kid, instead of asking for help I decided to go on my own to get the folder. Being in middle school I was way too short to reach this cabinet so I got a little help from the counter top. I hopped up and began to fish around in the cabinet for a folder until at last I had found them, and there was a selection to my surprise and I picked the best one I could find. No rolled corners or wrinkle marks for me, it had to be straight.

So in my excitement I jumped to my feet and it was here that I encountered my very first fan. Forgetting that I was on a counter and that even though I was short I was not short enough to stand on the counter, I stuck my head directly into the ceiling fan of the kitchen.

Now lucky for me the fan was on….yup you read that right…it was ON. Now if you know me you know that I have a hard head and in a battle you might actually bet on me against the fan, but I was no match for the sneak attack. It was almost as if the fan was waiting and watching and knew that I was a moron and planned its rotation accordingly.

So as I inserted my head into the rotating fan my ear took the brunt of the force causing a nice gash that bled like a stuck pig. The force however knocked my dizzy and I almost fell right off the counter. Unaware of what I happened I climbed down, gathered myself, and surveyed what just hit me.

The fan chuckled as it began its rotation after coming to a dead stop from whacking my head and I looked around to see if anyone saw me.

No one did…whew